drinking, fucking, and growing up (vent-ish)

i mean it when i say i hate growing up.

i know one day when im old and alone i'll look back at my teen years fondly, but for now just let me hate on them for a bit. 

the expectations to grow up so fast throughout highschool feels like whiplash. everyones partying, hookin up, dating, and then there you are. unaware of how to process any of this. do i participate? does looking that cool really matter that much to me?

yes, it does.

if you want to befriend the cool kids you at least gotta act your part. drink, fuck, or at least lie about it to their faces because if you dont fit in then you dont fit in.

throw away your childhood for god knows what, to look cool? to look sexy? this wont matter a few years from now, youll forget. everyone will forget.

why do you do it? why do i do it? and why do they make us do it?