Misgendering, Triggers from men, Anxiety

I am so sick of today. 

My day at work was a mess and here is why: 

Multiple times at work, men have made me feel uncomfortable, mostly old men. 

I feel disgusting anytime I am near them and they just keep invading my personal space. 

When I step backwards, they keep stepping closer...

I try to give obvious cues that i want space, but they are so fucking stupid and won't listen. 

Also being called ma'am and she constantly was added to my mix of uncomfortability. 

I had a mental breakdown after lunch because of this. 

I was wearing really cute nails, but I popped them all right off in rage. I wanted to fight someone, punch something, scream really loud outside... 

I for a brief second even wanted to cause pain to myself. 

I calmed down, even though it took a minute and I feel like cutting out everything that I wad unsure of letting go today. 

Peppermint tea saved me... 

I feel a whole lot better thanks to that tea.

Man I really need a cat. 😭😭😭