idrk

Uhm, hello! I haven't ever really had a blog before (beside my cringy tumblr accounts) so I don't really know what I should be writing? Ig it's just stuff about my day and thoughts and stuff. I don't think that anyone would ever read these, so I can just write whatever I want I think?? Anyway, I'll try to see what I can do lol

I think I might honestly just let my thoughts out on anything whenever I feel like it here. I would be originally scared that it might be embarrassing if I post too many times in one day, but there's an incredibly large possibility that nobody would see this, and that makes me feel happy and relieved. Honestly, ever since I was little I always wanted to be like a writer or blogger that writes everyday and has like tons of attention, like most kids I think, but I found that writing to nobody is calmer; pretending to write to an audience is fun too! I mean, I'm probably just gonna say a load of nothing, but that's alright, even if it makes no sense. 

I think I would've probably gotten more attention if I actually planned my blogs, and prepared a stable topic or something, but I can't really be bothered to do that: I prefer to use my effort for more educational stuff, like my history homework, which by the way, has been killing me these past few days. We have to make two essays on whatever topic we want(well we don't have to, but it's really important for me) and we have an whole week to do that, and the deadline is killing me since this is really important! This whole year I feel like I barely put enough effort in school, and this is a chance to show what I can actually do! I'm moving to a new school soon, so I want my old school to remember me as someone who's intelligent, mature and puts effort in stuff, because I do!

You know, I try to give everything I have, and even more, for school and every time nobody notices. I mean, I basically do anything I can, no matter how I'm feeling or how bad my situation is, just so I could get some praises from my teachers, and I never get anything. It's so frustrating because I can never seem to please anybody, and it's especially bad this year. I just want to make people proud of me and make them think I'm gifted again like they used to, but I just can't seem to be good enough for that anymore. That's exactly why I need to ace these two essays: if I give my teacher more than what she expects, then she'll definitely praise me and even put me with the smart kids whilst in lesson again! That would mean the world to me!

I wonder if one day I'll find this blog and cringe back on what I wrote here. Maybe, if I ever get any friends, I would laugh with them on this. That would be nice! 

Nevertheless, I think I really enjoyed writing this so far! I hope I can continue this and if anyone is reading this, I just wanted to say hello and thank you for wasting your time on my stupid rant! Have a lovely day, and I'm gonna go take a long shower to clear my head.

-Daniel<3