Haiiii xD 

I've been so busy omg. And by busy I mean being sad:

Just 2 talk about it, I've been in the hospital 2 times in a year. It did nothing both times and I don't wanna go back because I don't think it's gonna do anything this time, if it did nothing last time... I've just been feeling really down and I guess that's normal at this point :( I wish I could just fix it. Unfortunately meds and therapy only do so much and my meds I don't think are even helping with my BPD and my depression ones are only half-helping I guess. 

I also can't sleep well. I hate sleeping but I love it at the same time. I really need to sleep so I usually try to stay up as long as possible so I pass out, it's less likely for me to get nightmares this way. Almost every time I dream I have nightmares so I don't like taking my sleeping medication. I took it last night (finally) because I couldn't sleep and I was having trouble getting up in the morning because I unfortunately still live with my parents and they expect me to get up on time regularly through the week. I had nightmares last night, of course, because I took my sleeping meds. Sometimes they feel so real when I wake up I have to check if they actually happened (ex. someone texting me, something happening to me, etc).

So I'm just not really doing well in general. There's some other stuff going on too but it's mainly about a stupid guy I like and he rejected me (when I asked him to so I would stop being obsessive and annoying).... Listening to my music has been really helpful though and I'm glad I'm able to listen to it all the time. Anyways, just had to get some of this off my chest. Sorry!

Have a good day guyzzzz xD sorry for such a long post!! 

herez a link 2 one of my fav songs ive been listening to recently.. (it's sad!): Senses Fail - Four Years

Nyan cat 2 make u happyyyy x3