Bard Skaldson, The Bard :tm: - Session 1

I will never be dining at the establishment "Knave Land's Inn", whose inkeeper was oddly called Nave, and his family of was of Landsinn, after my last experience. First, the greeting was quite rude. I had just come quite a long way, and my mastiff Molossus and I were quite hungry, tired, and (as one is wont to be after 3 weeks on ship) slightly inebriated at worst. When we first came across this modest inn, the sign was a small scribble on a postal box. Seeing this clear invitation, and the impeccable garden decoration, we decided this was our quarter for the evening. Molossus sat outside on my command, and I promptly allowed myself in. Well let me just say, I have never been so put off by a first impression in my days. The innkeeper was sitting in a bathtub on the floor in the middle of the, for lack of better phrasing, foyer. Although that hardly does the quaint space justice. It looked to be that the inn had but one bed, (which, I am sure had I stayed I would have had to share with the innkeep!), and there was no table. Although the roast phesant on the fire smelled irressistably good, and it was. As I set 5 silver for the phesant on the stool next to the denuded inkeep soaking in warm water. In his audacity he had not yet even welcomed me to his in. He simply stared at me mouth agape as I introduced myself and told him of how I came to be at his quaint inn. It was not until I was helping myself to the aforementioned, and paid for, phesant that he finally spoke. All he could say, and quite loudly, was that he was Nave Landsinn and I should remove myself from his establishment forcefully, and with self-fornication. I was replacing the remaning phesant on the spit when he, glory swinging about, picked me up off of my log seat (there were not even chairs!) and tossed me from the front door.

At this, my loyal Molossus came to and plodded my way as I announced firmly that I would never be returning to his establishment again! Indeed! He continued to follow me for nigh 5 miles down the road wrapped only in a single length of linen shouting blatantly rude profanities. It was around this point that I found myself outside a much more established inn. I turned round towards him again with oil on my face and spoke in friendship, "AND I SHALL NEVER RETURN TO YOUR ESTABLISHMENT AGAIN!"

I sat down at the bar and ordered a paltry few shots of rum. To this end, the barkeep would not take my gold for the bottle, so 12 would have to do. It was at this point that a gentle...person by the name of Worm (or some such spelling) introduced me to the dropping of a shot of rum into a tankard and drinking it with haste. I can't recall the name of the drink, but I will certainly be remembering the process.

Upon my realization that there were few people in this establishment, and I would be needing my gold back, I offered rounds for all. A few came over and joined in the drinking, others needed quite some effort (such as one young woman who believed she was a dragon, and an actual dragonborn that was hestiant to admit that his parentage, well, existed at all.) Meanwhile this Worm fellow believed he was from the higher planes, and there was a young Kenku who seemed entirely in need of some level of assistance.

As we came together to discuss I found myself awakend in the middle of the night time, the fire burned down to smolders, no one to be found, a collection of liquor behind the bar, a mastiff-drawn cart tied to my wrist, and no... prying... eyes... I will be finishing this entry another time.


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