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My name is Sir Savage XXI and this is my confession of how I dropped out of Hogwarts to save the rap game

Henceforth I do solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Some of you reading this will probably know me as another man - my American doppelganger 21 Savage. Throughout my time on the run from the British Ministry I have taken upon many different names and many different nationalities to hide my identity from the world. In France I was Vingt et un Sauvage, in China I was 猖狂二十一 (as you can see, no one would be able to find me) but it was in Atlanta that I allowed myself to feel like I could truly belong there.

In truth however, sometimes part of me misses the land of my youth. From the heartless skreets of Surrey to spitting grime beats outside Boltonian sheds to the endless tears I used to shed at Highbury stadium all the way to the sweet Hogwarts totty, part of me yearns for Brittania.

Some of you might wonder why I would choose now of all times to break my silence. Why would a prime alpha male specimen such as myself, creme da le creme, a chap on top of the world even think of putting all my successes on the line like this? Most people in my shoes would take my secrets to the grave, safe and secure in the knowledge that even after death, people would remember me as the greatest American rapper of all time - the saviour of the game if you will.

Two reasons come to mind mate - such secrets are heavy burdens on one's soul and I care not to carry so heavy a weight without some relief. Secondly, and this is perhaps what comes to mind most prominently, no one would ever believe me. As if someone would ever believe that I, 21 Savage, was British, let alone an ex-student of Hogwarts. Its not like they would even be able to catch m-

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