breakup

we broke up after he found out ab my sh. He made a really insensitive joke ab matching cuts..that was enough for me. He cut himself two days later and I saw it, plain as ever on the back of his hand. He was talking about it so casually. I just couldn’t fathom why he would do that. I felt so guilty. I feel so empty without him, but he was so toxic. It was draining.I loved him. He started talking to his ex ex gf yk bc I’m his ex now. I’m disgusted. Now I’m so lonely tho. My friends never wanna hangout with me. They know very little ab how much I care. I haven’t sh since then, about a week. I don’t want to ever again, but Ik this will be hard. And I’ll miss him still, what we were before. I wish we could still be friends or that we never dated. Anyways that’s my spill this week. Now I’m focusing on myself, like I should have been this whole time. I do regret.