Kin List^^

hi-

idk when ill add to this but this is my kin list 

heh okay bye[2/11/23]

charlie spring

Honestly his personality is so alike to mine, ive never actually encountered a character or person who replicated my personality so alike to his. while he kind and caring, he’s sarcastic and sorta dense. he isnt afraid to show his affection to friends and family and whilst still upholds his pride to a certain degree of embarrassment. his personality is so alike to mine i find it difficult to decipher is yes, this is my personality or i simply copy and pasted his to mine as a way to make myself feel better about my utter loneliness surrounding myself and how different i am from my peers. while sometimes i enjoy my contrasting personality to others, i find it hard to believe anyone would ever want to be friends with me, let alone be near me. as to not bumbared my friends i isolate myself to degrees in which i find it agonizing how im only allowing myself to sit with my thoughts, to remind myself that this is what it’s like to be around me. why would i want anyone to have to be around this all the time, let alone date someone like me. how can someone actually enjoy my presence, why do they go out of their way to invite me to things. pity is the only thing that i can believe. they simply pity me and want me to hopefully with time change the way i am. in my parents case, to fit the societal norms i just dont seem to understand. arguing with myself as i desperately try to come to the conclusion that this isn’t me, that i was never like this, that im just wallowing in my own self doubt, that this is simply just another one of my self destructive phases, where all i do is break down every part of myself and pretend that yet it’s not me saying these things its people i care for saying these things. to make myself want to isolate more and more, until the pleasure of going out with anyone but myself becomes so small in which not even the best of microscopes could conclude its exact size. while finding this as comforting, as i finally have found comfort in a character that is alike to me, i find it strange and unsettling at times to see how i act in a different perspective, i find this character so loveable and pleasing, yet im alike to him in so many ways. i cant i see myself the way i see him.[2/13/23]