"home" - 01.26.2023

(i don't really know how to go about this without sounding really emo so i apologize in advance lmfao)

"home is where the heart is". that's a phrase i've heard time and time again, but it has yet to hold any significance to me. it has never rang true once in my life. what is supposed to be home is my greatest source of misery, to be quite frank.

nobody should be afraid of going home after school, and nobody should be coming up with excuses to leave home. but here i am, just going out aimlessly whenever i can't stand being here anymore.

i'm excited for the day i can finally leave this place- the day i finally have keys to my own place.

because what i've learned is that home isn't really a place, but a feeling. though i might live here, i don't feel comfortable here. i'm not happy. but i've always felt happy by myself, in my own solitude.

so despite the outdoors not being a typical "home" of sorts, it is where i- at least for now- feel the most comfortable.

the most at home.