The "35 Questions" from Marcel Proust (1871-1921)

I'll admit I do not know much about spacehey site etiquette, and whether or not to respond to year old forum posts that have seen little movement in recent months. I found this survey in the forums and thought the questions were interesting, so now I answer them.

1) WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?

Perfect happiness to me is waking up at 6am and being exhausted. Your blankets are so soft and warm, and you dread the thought of getting up. Then you realize you don't have to get up, and can snuggle up in the sheets and fall right back to sleep.

2) WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR?

That I will never achieve anything worthwhile. I fear that I'm not doing enough right now to be able to survive by myself later in life, and that in the end all I will have done is survive off the kindness of others.

3) WHAT TRAIT DO YOU MOST DEPLORE IN YOURSELF?

The current trait I most deplore in myself right now is my joking about suicide. I had stopped making any jokes about my demise or that of others, but this year my friends had picked up the jokes and for some reason I did too. I hate it, and I'm actively trying to stop myself.

4) WHAT TRAIT DO YOU MOST DEPLORE IN OTHER PEOPLE?

I hate when people do not put in effort. If we are working on a project together, I expect you to do your share. If everyone else is reading 4 paragraphs in the book, you shouldn't try to pass the reading to me after you read a small paragraph. I know everyone has their own limits, not everyone can complete the same projects with the same energy. Still, you don't know how other people feel, you may feel tired and decide to skip your portion of the project, but what if your partner is also tired? What if now instead of pushing through just their work, they have to do yours. Anyway, effort is the most important thing, I could care less about failure as long as there is an attempt.

5) WHAT LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST ADMIRE?
Right now I'm very impressed with Greta Thunberg. She is doing great things for the world, even if the people who boosted her up are now fighting against her. You go Greta.

6) WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
I have a tad bit of an artisan cafe addiction. I get at least one 10 dollar drink a week, sometimes more than once.

7) WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT STATE OF MIND?
I am exhausted all the time. The semester started up and zapped any energy from my body. At the end of May I will be a shell of a person, surviving on academic validation alone.

8) WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER THE MOST OVERRATED VIRTUE?
Faith. It's labeled the belief of the right things, but I don't think it matters. Sure faith is important, but not as much as people think it is. You can survive without belief, as long as you take action.

9) ON WHAT OCCASION DO YOU LIE?
Uhh... to my teachers when I want to skip class.

10) WHAT DO YOU MOST DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE?
I feel as if my entire body, face, and features are disproportionate.

11) WHAT LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST DESPISE?
My uncle. I hope [REDACTED] takes a [REDACTED] to his [REDACTED] and [REDACTED].

12) WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU LIKE MOST IN A MAN?
His dependency. And cologne. A nice cologne will make any woman fall in love.

13) WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU LIKE MOST IN A WOMAN?
... My trust in her. I'm more wary of the closest female friend than any man in my life.

14) WHICH WORDS OR PHRASES DO YOU MOST OVERUSE?
Perhaps it's perhaps, or mayhaps, or even literally. Words that don't actually matter.

15) WHAT OR WHO IS THE GREATEST LOVE OF YOUR LIFE?
I am 16, I don't have a love of my life.

16) WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU HAPPIEST?
When I was at the beach with my sister over the summer, I feel like it was the least turbulent time of my life.

17) WHICH TALENT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO HAVE?
The ability to play an instrument. It would be cool.

18) IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I would give myself the perfect body and genetics, in which I mean I would eradicate the gene which fucked up my heart.

19) WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
Uhh... not dying.

20) IF YOU WERE TO DIE AND COME BACK AS A PERSON OR A THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I WANT TO BE A BIG FAT HOUSE CAT!!!

21) WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO LIVE?
Norway, or Iceland. Japan would be nice, but the xenophobia is yikes.

22) WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
Right now I cherish a porcelain doll my grandma put away for me when I was younger. I was finally able to take her home.

23) WHAT DO YOU REGARD AS THE LOWEST DEPTH OF MISERY?
That is a heavy question. Probably feeling completely helpless and paranoid to the point you can't ask anyone for help because you fear they secretly hate you.

24) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OCCUPATION?
Hm. No idea.

25) WHAT IS YOUR MOST MARKED CHARACTERISTIC?
I don't really understand this question, but if I had to take a chance at it... I am often extremely quiet until you start conversations about something I understand. Then I don't shut up.

26) WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
My ability to trust them. Lots of trust issues in me. I also want to have something in common that we can talk about.

27) WHO ARE YOUR FAVORITE WRITERS?
Mooifyourecows on ao3. They are the only answer. Oh and maybe Rick Riordan.

28) WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE HERO OF FICTION?
I really don't like questions that ask me about my heroes. I don't have any heroes, not really. All my inspiration comes from spite and enemies.

29) WHICH HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU MOST IDENTIFY WITH?
You think I know history? I'm doing this instead of my APUSH homework.

30) WHO ARE YOUR HEROES IN REAL LIFE?
...

31) WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE NAMES?
Adakias, Nidria, Ahrima, Anhura, Quinton, Alvira

32) WHAT IS IT THAT YOU MOST DISLIKE?
FROGS AND COWS ARE SCARY

33) WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST REGRET?
What happened with my ex-girlfriend in sixth grade

34) HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE?
I have expressed my love for sleep previously. Let me take a forever nap.

35) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"It's not what your disability does to you, it's what it does for you"

Now excuse me, I have pre-cal and APUSH homework to do. It's 2am. I might just go to sleep. Maybe I'll update you later, maybe not.