unfixable (VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

"this isn't the right place for you, we can't help you here, you are beyond repair"

where is the place for people who have made up their mind about being sick forever? isn't there a hospice for the mentally ill? why won't they just let me live until i die?

the adults (and my parents parroting their words) tell me i cant be helped if i dont try to help myself. i say over and over again that deep down i dont want to help myself, that even if i wanted to i couldnt, and yet they dont give up on me. 

i know they want whats best for me but maybe what would be best is letting me rot in my room until i finally shrivel up and die. all their desperate attempts to help only make me sicker and sicker. i was not made for this world because this world was not made for me.