me and the lucky star (wednesday january 18 2023)

today was such a wonderful day. it’s interesting - i go weeks having nothing and weeks having everything. i’m taking all my steps. i’m taking them lightly, but still taking them. the main event - Fall Out Boy’s new song came out, which would have nothing to do with me except i made a little collage and they reposted it on their story. i’ve had my 5 minutes of fame before - but nothing like this, in front of 3 million people even for a second. its thrilling, and confusing. in the sense that i didn’t think for a minute that they would do that, just because of the timing. i hoped a little, but… it makes me wonder how people deal with that all the time. if it’s as thrilling each time. or if it just blends into your everyday. getting noticed by people you love - talking to people you love; a conversation, or just a millisecond of acknowledgment- it’s very nice. kind of beautiful. i don’t take it for granted. i think about it all the time. 

the moon isn’t anywhere to be found tonight. so i don’t know who to thank. perhaps things like this don’t need thanking. perhaps they can just be.

on another note, i hung out with friends and we watched movies and i made a new friend today. and it felt like spring though it’s the middle of winter. i like to think days like this are there to remind me about happiness. or specialness. or both.