MY PITIFUL ATTEMPTS AT SONGWRITING PT7 - Why am I her anchor?

WEEKLY POEM #7!!

Lost quite a few friends 🤪🤪 longest one I've done in a while.

When is it enough?

When am I enough?

When is anything good enough?

When the fuck am I good enough?

She looks me in the eyes,

She is crying, so am I,

Her mouth is open, saying something,

I'd rather be six feet under.

And I can't hear a word, I won't hear a word,

All I see are bubbles, bubbles in my throat,

Bubbles in the air, bubbles on my skin,

Pop, pop, pop,

I can't even scream.

Bubbles coming out my mouth,

And I can't say a thing,

Everything's engulfed in bubbles,

And I don't know how to breathe.

Tides take me under, make this stop,

She's still talking, she won't stop

Until I am convinced that it's never good enough.

Wet, wet, wet,

Is it water, tears, or sweat?

Maybe even blood, and I am going blind.

And all I do is cry, cry, cry,

And I say I'll stop, but I still give in,

She sits down to talk, I feel so ill,

I ask her to stop, and she says "I will,

I will, I will, I will".

But she'll never stop, even when she promises she will.

Won't even try, won't fucking say bye,

She makes everybody wanna die,

And I'll fuckin' die, 'cause I'm never good enough.

Especially for her.

I'll never be good enough for her.

And all I see are bubbles,

Bubbles, bubbles.

They drag me under, strangle, kill me,

When she says "you'll never be enough for me".

And I know she is right, she'll always be,

She's always the biggest, brightest bubble you will ever see,

But she's not there

To be my bag of air,

She has none left to spare,

And I wouldn't dare

Ask her for more oxygen when I am in despair.

I don't wanna be her spike,

That bursts the bubble that's she's in,

I don't wanna be the jellyfish

That stings her 'til she fuckin' screams.

I don't wanna be her anchor,

When I try to be her solid ground,

I'm scared that I will be

The one who makes her drown,

Because I know she's correct.

I have never, ever, been good enough for her,

And then even the bubbles disappear.

She'll disappear.

She is crying, so am I.

Bubbles in my throat, they're not coming out

Maybe I'll just choke,

She says that I'm her anchor.

She says I'll never be her ground.

She says I'll never be anything other than the

One who makes her drown!

I don't wanna make her drown!

But sometimes I catch myself wishing,

Fuckin' wishing she'd just drown!

And the grief just drags me down!

The lights go dim, my brain's full of fear,

And then even the bubbles disappear.

She'll fuckin' disappear.