The sisters in order:,
- Captain Sally Hillenbyerg: older sister, full-time marine biologist, part-time film critic. Her favorite music includes Brandy and TLC, often seen wearing custom pirate hats.
Appearance: Blond hair (natural), dark brown, muscular, blue eyes.
- Talia Hillenbyerg - middle sister, first mate of the ship/astronomer. Serious, but secretly enjoys romance novels in her spare time. Has a framed portrait of Stephen Hillenburg stashed in her cabin - don't tell ANYONE she said that, or she'll keelhaul you!
Appearance: Red dyed hair, caramel skin, muscular frame, blue eyes.
- Matilda Hillenbyerg - naval surgeon, youngest sister and second mate. Enjoys analyzing different body parts, and once dislodged shrapnel from a cat's brain. LOVES sea-based horror movies.
Appearance: Dyed purple hair, caramel skin, slightly muscular frame, heterochromia.
- Bridgette Hillenbyerg - third mate/youngest sister, author of Riveting Sea Tales: A Child's Journey. PhD in Animation.
Appearance: Black hair, peach-colored skin, blue eyes, thin frame.
The current crew, in order:
- Offscreen the Pirate - lookout/kidnapped teenage boy. Son of very affluent clam farmers. Loves Quentin Tarantino movies. Name is actually ROBERT CLAMDEN.
Appearance: Brown hair, skinny, wimpy-looking frame. Glasses. Not as tan.
- Martin Torvanté - chief steward, former restaurateur and amateur filmmaker. Very amateur. Films are often used as punishment.
Appearance: Black hair. Muscular. Eyepatch. Brown skin and tattoo of a parrot on neck.
- Mo Dawg, pronounced Daugè, - chief cook, ghostwriter for Barnacle Bill's Urchin You To Try These Recipes. Land-phobic asshole. Appearance: Sailor hat, bald, tan skin.
- Captain Dahlong Shoreman - chaplain of the ship, ordained rabbi/minister. Often gets nauseous, has to carry around dramamine. Misses watching football.
Appearance: Grey hair. Purple yarmulke. Glasses. Stocky frame. Slight tan.
- Billy Bastø II - chief engineer, son of the famed merchant M.F. Bastø. Enjoys Stumptown brand coffee and begs Matilda to make exceptions for his diet.
Appearance: Apple tattoo on forehead. Coffee colored skin. Medium-sized frame.