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kind of a vent im not rlly sure lmao

triple entry go brrrrrrr

in all seriousness though, do you ever feel guilty for being happy? because i sure do. i have no idea why im like this but ill be happy a rlly nice time (probably alone listening to music during the night time while eating/writing/drawing something) and then i realise that this is the happiest ive been in such a long long time and i just feel like its like too good to be true yk? then id kind of feel conflicted because im happy for myself, so why am i feeling sad? and tbh im probably just sad because i have realised that even simple things like looking at stars, or my favourite song playing when i want it to, if those things can make me so endlessly happy then i might need to check up on myself, yk?

ive also notice that ive started overanalysing things and overthinking a lot lately. ive always been quite socially anxious but i dont think its ever been quite this bad. ive also been having tons and tons of like existential crisis like every single day lately and i really just feel like i cant escape the fact that i feel like nothing is real. 2022 has been a rough year for me tbh, i miss 2021 and 2020. also like is it just me or does anyone else just not remember anything from before 2019 bc like wtf. even some things in 2019 i cant remember at all. what did i even do in 2018 lmao. 

anyways, its getting pretty late (for my country) and i should be going to sleep, soooooo

goodnight <3 (or good day depending on where u live :P)


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