My autobiography

Your Autobiography.

Little kiddies. (Grades 1-5)

What color hair did you have?
Brown hair

Did you wear glasses or have contacts?
I got glasses in 3rd grade, which was shortly after the bullying started so it was a great addition to my bullies long list of "comedic" material.

Did you have braces?

No. My parents didn't have good dental insurance so braces weren't covered. My teeth are extremely crooked  as a 24 year old and I'm absolutely embarrased over it.

Did you go to pre-school or go straight to kindergarten?
I went straight to Kindergarten.

Out of grades 1-5, which one was the best for you? I would say 3rd-5th grade. Although I was getting bullied, I had a lot of friends and constantly was doing something. 1-2nd grade was alright but little did I know I was lying my sleeping bag next to girls who would call themselves the plastics in 3rd grade.

Did you have a lot of friends, or just a couple?
I definetly hung with a lot more people in elementary. Things were different for me back then. I was very confident versus middle school & high school where I was a little bit more introverted and aloof.

What were your favorite shows?
Anything on Disney Channel. I also did enjoy Drake & Josh and ICarly but it's hard for me to say those were my favorite shows knowing what the creator was like.

What were your favorite movies?
Disney movies and whatnot.

Did you read Goosebumps? No. I think it's definetly something I would be interested in now but as a kid, I wasn't really into that type of stuff. I liked anything that was girly and sparkly. I didn't really turn more into a tomboy until 8th grade.

What was your favorite thing to do on weekends? I loved playing with my neighbors, riding my bike, going to Lake Michigan, etc.

Pre-Teens. (Grades 6-8)

What color hair did you have?

Brown and blonde highlights

What color hair did you want?

I just wanted completely blonde hair, which I finally did when I turned 19... then I realized how much people assumed I was a bitch because I had resting bitch face but with blonde hair. Like nobody would talk to me because they assumed I was full of myself.

Was your Middle School a seperate school from Junior High?
Middle school and high school were seperated but I was homeschooled for the majority of it.

Did you have a lot of boyfriends/girlfriends? A few. I was a bit of a flirt in middle school, I'm not gonna lie.

Did you still watch Disney movies?
Yes.  I didn't really watch the classics though because I thought I was too cool for that, just the stuff that would rerun on Disney Channel.

What kind of music did you listen to?
I listened to Miley, Selena, Demi and a little bit of top 40. I wasn't really into bands or theatre until high school. I remember in 8th grade I started listening to more Avril Lavigne and would have DEBATES over her being rock. I still think she was but my "guy" friends to put that loosely, was listening to bands like Five Finger Death Punch.

What were some of your interests?
I think I was still figuring myself out at this point but I definetly wanted to be the center of attention. I loved singing but I didn't really find myself as a singer yet. I tried getting into having a Youtube but I got bullied off of it by a couple girls.

What was your favorite animal? I think I said penguins. I honestly am not sure why I liked penguins.

What was your favorite color?
I said orange. There was a girl in my class who's favorite color was orange and I thought she was super cool so I started saying my favorite color was orange. I would wear orange nailpolish. It was a moment.

Did you draw?

Poorly.

What was your favorite subject?
English.

Did you have any piercings? My ears were pierced.

Did you wear make-up to school? I wore lip gloss and light eyeshadow with a dab of mascara. My mom had some bad moments but one thing I'm absolutely grateful is how she taught me to apply colors to look natural because some of my friends were struggling with blue eyeshadow and red lipstick.

What kinds of clothes did you wear?
Graphic tees, old-navy hoodies, aeropostale, jeggings, etc. The typical middle school stuffs.

What did you do on the weekends? Tori was always at my house so whatever chaos she brought me into. I also went to youth group on Sundays in 8th grade.

Smells Like… Teeeenagerrrrs. (Grades 9-12)

Did you like your high school? I went to Muskegon for most of 9th grade before being homeschooled for the rest. Honestly, I absolutely hated Muskegon High School. For one, the music/theatre program was pretty bad at that point. It definetly did improve when both got staffed with different people running them. The education was teachers handing us packets to fill out because they couldn't afford text-books for every student. It got to a point with bullying that I was receiving SA threats and the school wasn't taking it seriously at all. The only thing I miss were some of the people there.

Was it as bad as they were on TV?
TV's make it look more glamorous

What color hair did you have?  I dyed my hair red in 9th grade because all the girls were trying to look like Cat Valentine. In other words, it wasn't the best phase.

Did you have any piercings? My ears closed up in 10th grade because my mom was so poor we couldn't afford earrings.

…How about tattoos?
No.

What age did you learn to drive?
I haven't.

When did you get your license?
–

What was your first car?
–

What was your style?

It was all over the place. I still had some clothes from 8th grade, with a mixture of

Did you have a lot of friends or just a few?

I didn't really have any. 9th grade was a tough year for me with my mom getting into substances and my parents seperating.  I stopped going to youth group. I was getting bullied in high school to the point some of my friends weren't wanting to hang out with me and the ones that did, I thought they didn't want to so I pushed them away. I finally started making "friends" with some people at a community theatre in 11th grade, or so I thought. I was so distant though that people just giving me small chat was a highlight of my day. I didn't really realize they weren't friends until I wasn't getting invited to things and  thats when I realized they were just being nice.

What did you do on weekends?

I was a loner. I watched a lot of youtube, read on my kindle or listened to music. There wasn't too much exciting in my life other than my mom having the occasional party that led to the cops being called.

Did you have a lot of boyfriends/girlfriends or did you have one or two?
I had two in high school. Lincoln and Kyle.

Lincoln was probably the most mature relationship I had in high school, which is saying something as I had an alcoholic mother and his family were Jehovah's Witnesses who believed anyone outside of their religion/family were bad people.  He never learned that I figured that out and I honestly don't remember how I figured it out. But I do remember the feeling of wanting us to have a normal relationship and having to eventually accept that it wouldn't happen. We couldn't even sneak around because he got sent to live with his grandparents.

Kyle... was a relationship that I think I wanted because I felt extremely depressed and lonely. I don't think me and Kyle had a lot in common. He was a good friend at times but he definetly just wanted me to fuck him. It got to a point where he was willing to fake a relationship and pretend he wasn't seeing other girls so I would. This ruined our relationship and our friendship because I couldn't trust him. Once I couldn't trust him, I wasn't attracted to him.

What were some of your favorite bands? Evanescene, Halestorm, Panic! At The Disco, One Republic, The Fray, Pretty Reckless, etc.

What college were you considering? I didn't really think much on college because my life was at a point I was surviving the next day from my mom's abuse. I wasn't thinking of the future because a part of me couldn't even imagine one.

Did you get along with teachers, etc?
I wasn't a bad student so I didn't fight with them. I think in high school, my 9th grade teachers were dissapointed because I was failing. However, none of them stepped in to realize I was having issues with bullying and issues at home.

Young Adults. (College years)

What did you look like?

So if we're talking about the ages 18-22, that's a very wide range of different phases.

We went from flower crowns and headbands, to goodwill sweaters and bright colored pants, to PINK and Blonde Hair, to orange shirts and yellow pants, to band tees and combat boots.

When did you first move out of your parents’ house? Last year, a month after I turned 23.

What college did you end up going to?
I didn't go.

What kind of music did you like? I tended to brand myself as someone who was punk and who listened to "bands" before I realized I listened to top 40 and musical soundtracks. Once I realized I wasn't as punk as I thought I was, I had a bit of an identity crisis.

Did you like college?
-

How long were you there? (2 years, 4 years, mooore)
-

Careers. (Any time of your life)

What was your first job? I worked as a Hostess at Cracker Barrel when I was 17.

Did you like it?
I absolutely hated it.It  was my first (and only) job in a restaurant and they expected me to know resteraunt lingo, what tables were where, and the Cracker Barrel motto by Wednesday. I started on Monday. I was known as a bad employee which eventually led to a manager throwing plates at my hand. Thankfully, I just got a job offer with Walmart that day.

Are you still there?
No. I quit the night plates were thrown at my hand.

What do you do now?
I work as a Patient Scheduler for a medical clinic.

Do you like it?

Yes.

What do you want to do? I want to be a singer.

Odds and ends.

Were you a loud baby or a quiet one?

I was quiet until i turned 3. My mom said I was a nightmare as a 3 year old. I guess I had a lot of tantrums at that point. I'm not sure.

Did you collect anything growing up?
Webkinz.

Do you still have anything from it?

No. When my mom was at the prime of her addiction, she stored all of our stuff away in a storage unit as she moved from one friends house to another.  My nana ended up telling the storage to get rid of all of it when she passed away. All my childhood pictures, all my toys. Gone.

When did you first hear about Myspace? 2007. My mom created a Myspace for me because one of my friends had one. I was about to turn 9.

Did you have a VF? (VampireFreaks.)
No.

Do you party a lot?
No, not really.

Did you?
Eh. Not really.

When did you get your first tattoo?
I don’t have any.

Have you ever dyed your hair?
Brown, blonde, red, black, blue, pink, purple, green.

Did you study any languages (other than the one you were raised to speak)?

No. I tried to learn Sign Language and Spanish but I gave up really easily.

Are you still into the things you were into when you were 12?
Some of the music, movies, and even TV shows.

How about 15?
^^^

Do you listen to the same bands you did growing up? Some.

Were your parents cool parents or were they strict? They were strict when I was younger. My stuff was heavily monitored. When my mom got into drugs/alcohol, I was given way more freedom that I should've had.

Have you ever been in a car accident? When I was a baby.

What was your favorite food as a kid? Mac and Cheese

What is it now? Fettuccine Alfredo, the fancy Mac and Cheese