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Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Senior Year

✧Senior Year✧

Today is day 4 of my senior year of high school. I'm currently sitting in my computer science class, listening to my teacher explain the curriculum with no small amount of fear at the mention of other coding languages.

I've already missed (almost missed?) an assignment for culinary, and that scares the hell out of me. Last year I only barely passed, mostly because my teachers liked me enough to smudge my grades a bit. I'm smart, the work isn't hard, but it's difficult to keep track of what I'm meant to do, and have the motivation to do it. My English teacher has said he loves assigning essays, which makes me want to cry. I think the only time I've successfully written an essay was in fifth grade, when I wrote about queer rights like I actually knew what I was talking about. 

I feel like I'm giving the wrong impression, though. I didn't go into this year with fear- I'm excited, and determined to do better. Virtual learning was when I hit rock bottom, and now I'm ready to claw my way back up. I honestly like all my classes- English and Math are classes that I've enjoyed in the past, and those are outliers among classes like Advanced Culinary, Chamber Choir, and Guitar II. Comp Sci is another required course, because I don't have a tech credit yet, but honestly I'm happy I'm taking this class now- any other year I would have no interest at all, but I got into coding literally four days before school started.

I talk about it a lot, and I feel like it makes me seem pretentious, but I'll mention it here- I recently deleted all social media off my phone (even including youtube), so I can no longer be tempted to scroll tumblr all through a class period. Not only will this help my grades, it will also make me feel better in general- in previous years, getting "stuck in my phone" (as I would mentally call it) made me feel tired, angry, dissociated, and confused in class. 

My goal for this year is to get at least a B for every quarter in every class- if I get one or two Cs, that's fine, but I would prefer them to be in the mid-high 70s, and not barely scraping above a D.

✧The Plan✧

My main problem has been homework- I have executive dysfunction, and it's hard for me to switch from "home mode" to "school mode". I'm going to attempt to combat this by writing every homework assignment in a planner, then having a specific time planned after school to do homework. 

Another issue is tiredness- I take morning showers, and I live 20 minutes away from school, so I have to wake up at 5:30 am every day. I used to go to sleep around 9 every night, but with my current fixation on coding, it's very easy for me to stay up until 11 or later. I haven't had huge issues yet this year, but I'd like to nip this in the bud- I'm going to make it a goal to be in bed by 10:30 every night, and drink caffeinated tea (I hate coffee) in the morning to wake myself up. 

I'm nervous that I'm going to lose all motivation halfway through the year, since that's what's happened pretty much every past school year, but I hope that the combination of being back in school without masks, having classes I actually care about, and this being my final year of school (I'm currently not planning on going to college), I'll be able to at least keep my head above water.



Thanks so much for reading!

Also side note, apparently if you say the word j*vascript anywhere in a blog it won't let you post it :/ ffs


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⛥Stargirl⛥

⛥Stargirl⛥'s profile picture

Good luck, I am also falling behind:( i am taking my first AP class and i have had a F the entire class so far


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R3NTZ

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Great post! I'm somewhat in similar position, barely scraping by last year and online school being rock bottom for me too. Let's pull through together!


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Harald98

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Interesting post


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MILO.

MILO.'s profile picture

i sympathize, im starting my junior year and its been tough for me too. remember to take care of yrself and just make it the best year u can !!


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EchoGeko

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I am sorry you are going through all of that I am also a senior for about 20ish days now my English teacher already has me at an U (lowest grade) because we have to write 250 words per Journal entry and we need 7-8 and writers block has me just stressed out and I need this class to graduate I know it's not as bad as the things you're dealing with but you're not alone idk why they push seniors into so much work that they have a hard time doing. Try working on things piece by piece and not all at once so it doesn't seem like so much on you. i hope things get better


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BraveChicken

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Hi! I'm in my Senior year as well. Hopefully we can get through this year! It has been rough with Covid and such but hopefully there is a bright future. Wishing you the best luck!


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tysm! we totally got this >:) senior year better watch out

by redrevelry; ; Report