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The ever changing definition of respect and being autistic.

You'll need to hear me out for this one, keep in mind a lot of this comes from growing up unknowingly autistic and not understanding a lot of it.


I can respect higher ups like teachers for example. I'll call them sir, miss, or in college by their first name and I'll act polite towards them. That's all respect is. When older generations twist the definition to benefit them more and make younger people look worse for just not getting it, that's what I can't stand and unfortunately it is growing. 

I used to do Brazilian jiu-jitsu for some reason when I was younger. I'm really bad at watching demonstrations and applying them to my own body. In short I was awful but my dad dragged me there and I guess it kept me active. Coach was a nice guy named Greg. He was serious often but I could talk to him fine. Didn't have to call him any special title, I just stayed polite around him. 

Now there was this man named Andy. We all called him that. He was a black belt, so a commited guy at his passion but you know, still another human. I needed the toilet toward the end of a demonstration so I went. I came back and he decided to talk shit like "Your partner is waiting hurry up" in the most stern tone. I was dumbfounded like sorry let me just piss on the mat. Just after, he said to me "you don't say what, you say pardon". That was the breaking point. I quit that day. 

This man was not my coach nor did he go by any extra title I was ignoring nor was I ever impolite around him, but he demanded that I need to talk like some Victorian around him for what? Maybe "I'm a black belt and you aren't because you are 13 and I'm 48 and I wasn't even learning your age"  was circling around his brain. Due to the way my brain works, when someone random gives me shit for no real reason, I remember it vividly because I'm just so upset and mostly angered. 
It's been like 4 years, honestly fuck that place. 

Case 2. Old people can fuck off. They are so caught up in this fucked up little ideology that the world owes them so much "respect" (to refer to just being treated like a fucking king and not base respect) that they forget that they are not exempt from the consequences of not being respectful to anyone else.

This was only last week. Headed out the smoking area and walked past four old women. Straight away one of them tries to give me shit saying "You knocked my friend and she could have fell". (I didn't according to friends there and I know because I didn't feel a fucking thing). I just apologised. As this lady is about to leave she says talks to me again I can't quite remember but something like "dksjdbebfkfush were old be more careful fuck you jsususjs" and I said told her the truth, "I have chronic fatigue syndrome and I struggle walk properly anymore, that aside I felt nothing brush my arm". "I know what it's like I have a daughter that's disabled and she is in a wheelchair." That last part, her tone disgusted me. Like thanks I'm now cured because I'm not in a wheelchair so I'm not disabled but also she was literally just looking to wave her need for respect in someone's face because I didn't come close to any old lady. I also get the feeling that if I looked 46 she would have stayed quiet. They are Tory scum anyways. 

Like I said, times like this really do affect me for long periods of time and that Saturday I actually got pretty upset and I just left my friends, because for a second I just felt like I had done something wrong. Now I'm a little put off going back to that location after heading every week. 





tl;dr it's very hard being autistic in a world where people expect too much respect.


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