Today's thoughts

The day just started and I am already upset, why must my family be so rude to me. It seems as though they don't have any kind of respect for me. I want to say I do a lot for them but I don't want to make it about myself. All I can do is cry when I am alone and let it out by myself. I feel so detached from them, work has become an escape place. It shouldn't have to be like that, I can't even tell my family I got a raise because of the fear they might just ask me for even more money. I wash their clothes,I lend them money, I clean what I can when I can. Even then it doesn't seem like I am appreciated and that I'm just being used. I want to go far away but then i'd feel guilty. I feel trapped.