The Stinkbugs that Ate Appalachia, Pt. 2

Ze thought the stinkbugs were where they belonged: In the past.

In the otherwise beautiful, if probably haunted, 200ish year old farmhouse in Cowville, VA.

Ze came back to Maryland a new person. Eager to put the family visit behind. The heavy stuff, the stinkbugs, the dust allergies...

But They were watching still.


From inside the suitcase of potential and doom, a lone stinkbug watched as Ze slept. The stinkbugs were not satisfied with life in Cowville, VA, and no one at the farmhouse found them creepy....So clearly a move to Maryland was in order.

For the stinkbugs also wanted to move on...


"Dude, it doesn't make sense," one stinkbug commented around 5 AM, when Ze had finally gone to sleep. "Ze likes spiders and snakes, yet they think we're possessed and don't deserve to exist. What a weirdo."

"Yeah, I know," shrugged another stinkbug, testing out a parachute. "So here's the plan...a few of us try Test Invasion this afternoon. See how scared Ze is and if they kill any of us. Redcoats only, sorry but we do have that super-power of reincarnating."

"Yeah, we all have reviewed Test Invasion and are ready," yawned a third stinkbug. "What next?"

"Well, obviously, we gather intelligence on whether Ze has boyfriends who are grossed out by our type. If so, we wait til company to launch the full invasion so that Ze can be extremely embarrassed in addition to just terrified. If not, let's aim for...Ideas on day, anyone?"

There was a long silence, because most of the stinkbugs were stoners. They'd been wanting to get out of Virginia for this reason too--to get better, and more legal, weed.

 Unfortunately, their taste was still terrible. They had gotten this bud from some frat boys at UMD while teleporting there to spy on spring mini-skirts. The stinkbugs were ok with that though, because making their smell even worse would distress Ze further...


Hours later, one stinkbug stopped staring at the floor and contemplating death to answer with input.

"What about.....Friday?

2 Kudos


Displaying 1 of 1 comments ( View all | Add Comment )

Lyrian Space Frequencies

Lyrian Space Frequencies's profile picture

This is perhaps the best thing I've read on spacehey thus far. Quirky and absurd. Right up my alley.

Report Comment

Thanks for checking it out!

by Ze the Bard Space-Witch of Hey (Noiram Zero); ; Report

Of course! Thanks for writing it. Also I didn't know you were musician too. I liked what I heard, interesting style. You've certainly got talent.

by Lyrian Space Frequencies; ; Report