I have to make decisions??? About my future??? Already???

*sigh* here I go, being overly confident and pouring my feelings out into a post I will probably regret later, to the burden of the wonderful people of SpaceHey.

I have to choose a University course but I don't even know what subjects I'm passionate about now. I don't even think I have the independence to go to university; independence and travel is like, half the appeal of it in the first place!

So I wanted to take a gap year, both to build independence, and take shot courses to figure out what I really want to do, as well as just having more time to spend on my hobbies and generally doing things that the demands of school would not allow for, but I have to push so hard just for that. Mum really wants me to go straight into Uni but I REALLY don't feel ready to even make the decision this year. I just feel like I have such little control over my life. I have no idea what I want to study. I barely even know why I want to go, since it feels as though people have just told me that I want to do it all throughout my schooling without really giving me the opportunity to think about it for myself. I just need time to get my life together, but if feels as though I will never get that time :'D

I mean I still want to go so that I can get a well-paying job and feel better about myself, and also for  travel but can I even do that if I don't even trust myself enough to drive?????

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