the vampire seculars

the vampire seculars believe in the nothing that is everything. they believe the snake that eats every human soul gives birth to it too.

they start the flutes at 12:35 am. this sudden shift in the ceremony gives one last chance to any members and want to be members to come and join them before they walk away or roll the dice.

at 12:37 am, they grab the other person's hand (there always has to be an even number of members over 4, or else they nod and stand on the side and wait and hope. so far it's been working) and love them forever and ever through everything through moon sun and stars and they have said it to everyone but this time they mean it. this time they love you. it's finally what you've been waiting for. the person who's never loved you to show you anything can be possible. you will forget about this moment when you realize why it's so meaningful.

with all seriousness then, they throw a match in a paint bucket and make a group tapestry out of colors you've never seen and they've never seen and draw all over it in their heads. its all in their heads.

when they've finally kissed, licked, and fucked goodbye they all get horny again and it's all back.

but it's the end of the meeting now. they leave. when they leave, they laugh because they're finally apart of something, and they write their fake names in pencil on the paper they left untaped and flying through the wind at 12:40 am.

their parents don't ask because you hoped they wouldn't and they were already asleep so it doesn't matter and you'll still hate them.

i wish i could dream so vividly. i wish they would come pick me up for christmas but it's not about that. they can't find you. even if they could, they don't want to. the v. seculars are not about who qualifies. who deserves to hold that mask up. it's not about who needs to pretend to be someone who doesn't think they are. it's about are you willing. are you willing for no one to hear you. are you willing to face the lukewarm, window ridden building in your truest form. are you willing to keep dancing when everyone is making out. are you willing not to be the main character. are you willing to fuck up and keep going.

they ask that on the mindful tapestry they paint in their minds those questions and many more that can only be felt. (maybe one day we'll learn that language)

i wish i could have that courage. but there is too much doubt in me to take the chance of more nothing.

they dance like they've seen what it's like to be annoying. they dance like themselves. they are themselves. there is nothing more to be but yourself, in their cloaks. 

what it's like to be yourself. it is breaking through the eggshell. saying "i want to hurt you" when you see someone like that at 12:40 am meet them in the parking lot