Depression

My depression has kicked in today and the day all over has been hard. I have two jobs, a main one and a side for fun one. I called off from the for fun one because I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. This new job is a lot more labor intensive than I thought and I hurt. I told him at noon that I would not be coming in at six and he lost it saying that it was uncalled for since it wasn't an emergency, and that it was short notice. I didn't plan this.  I don't WANT this. It just made my overall mood worse and I cried in the bathroom at work. Icame home and showered in hellfire for an hour and it wasn't hot enough. Why can't I just get rid of this already? I hate it so much