Acknowledge that women and men are identical without the social upbringing
Women who hate their emotions and center control and domination are toxically masculine
Men who fetishize themselves are victims of objectification in the same way women are
Feminine men are not an exception where it's okay to fetishize femininity
Masculine women are not an exception where it's okay to idolize toxic masculinity
Men can be caretakers, they can be motherly, they can be lady-like
Women can be providers, they can be fatherly, they can be manly
It's okay for women to do what's traditional, as long as they don't pressure others to do the same
It's okay for men to do what's traditional, as long as they don't pressure others to do the same
Men can be puritanical, they can deny their own sexuality and suffer for it
Women can objectify others, they can use sexuality as a weapon to please themselves
Some men are victims of assault
Some women are perpetrators
Submission does not make you weak, it takes a lot of stability, vulnerability, trust, and awareness to submit to someone else. It takes work, it's powerful, it's intentional, submission is given.
Dominance does not make you strong, it can be used a false sense of security, it can be used to deny vulnerability and run away from commitment. Dominance can be presented out of fear.
Femininity is not a material concept, it doesn't exist unless we decide it does.
Masculinity is not a material concept, it doesn't exist unless we decide it does.
Find a picture of a man or woman.
Tell yourself what gender they seem to be at first glance (for sake of example, we will say the image you found appears to be a man.)
Ask yourself what you feel about this person, does gender have anything to do with it?
Now imagine if this face belonged to a woman instead, or even a non-binary person.
Did anything change?
Notice how your perception of them may have changed, even while the face did not.
You don't have to change the clothes, the identity, the expression, you only have to change one, insignificant label, to see someone in a completely different way.
That's where you should start.
If you felt differently about the person when you labeled them another way, it may be because you center men in your life, whether it's out of idolization or hatred.
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MAD SCIENCE
If people can't percieve the innate statistical differences between the sexes they probably have one or more of the following:
1. A severe testosterone/hormone imbalance.
2. Spent too much time listening to neomarxists and the growing subverted subset of the population that want people to think that every human is an interchangable unit intellectually and behaviorally such that every difference between them is programmed externally. Ignoring the fact that all other features such as height, terminal muscle size, etc. are genetically limited to a maximum level, and people can have intellectual disorders that prevent them from achieving no matter how hard they try and how much help they get.
That line of thinking that everyone is the same it's just the environment, while it has it's merit in many ways, ignores the large genetic and hormonal components that influence behavior and intellectual ability.
My ℞ is to cut back on drinking from plastics, endocrine disruptors are doing a number on us rn, just like the frogs with Atrazine. It bioaccumulates in us too. Really a pretty bad slow burn problem that causes epigenetic damage through multiple subsequent generations despite removal of the disruptors! Turns creatures hermaphrodidic and inbetween sexes.
I recognize the statistics, but I don't believe they have much to do with nature compared to how we raise people based off their gender. If you're talking physical aspects and those statistics, like genitalia, strength, height, etc, that's not what I was talking about. I acknowledge the sexes tend towards certain physical traits. Hormones can obviously effect you emotionally, and I am aware there are some studies that imply that hormones may dictate more than just emotionality, though I have to admit I'm quite suspicious of most of those claims.
While I recognize that personal experience is not always the most credible source, I do want to mention that as a child, I took in many ideas from toxic masculinity despite being a girl. I experienced very similar issues as boys I knew, in fact I found myself incapable of relating to or making friends with most girls my age. I was unemotional, quick to anger, tended towards violence, misogynistic, etc. This was all prior to puberty, so before most major sex characteristics and hormone differences would apply. During puberty, not much changed, but due to a lot of internal work I did a few years after, I found myself no longer tending to toxically masculine ideas. I still feel this connection between men and how they're raised, I can't help but believe that with a different set of circumstances, I would've ended up with a very similar world view as a lot of toxic men I know. I think the main reason I didn't get stuck there, is because that world view didn't benefit me the same way it does men. I felt lesser than, and I knew that wasn't normal, that's what started my recovery.
If there's anything else I need to elaborate on, let me know. I wanted this post to spark conversation, though I can come off a bit strong.
by Maxine; ; Report