24 March 2026

Woke up in a bad mood and went to the exam hall ,wrote the exam (mind u ,my hands were stinging with pain) after the exam ,saw this Lil cute boy who draws rlly well (6th grade) HE WAS RLLY EXCITED. he drew my hair btw ,and then went back to my class and talked with classmates,at th end of the class everyone was hugging ,I got hugs too . Then i realise my vehicle to go home hasn't arrived yet so me and the people who gets on vehicle was waiting for it beneath a mango tree. (Mind u ,all the while I was disturbed and somewhat close to smt) Some Lil kid came up to me and asked me to draw kakashi ,I drew and suddenly I was in the middle of so many Lil boys who talked about anime IT WAS CUTE. Then our vehicle came and the uncle driving the vehicle bought us icecreams since it's the last day of school. Came back home disturbed (I KNEW I WAS GONNA HAVE SOME KINDA ATTACK) then i remembered dan and phil,tyler but better,cyberyamu,chris HAVE ALL UPLOADED SO I FIRST WATCHED DAN AND PHIL ,THEN CYBERYAMU (she was talking about her mental health and it calmed me down ,infact I was going through the same thing that she was ,by each passing day i was caring less and less about people and life ,almost like I'm a corpse and whenever I reach this conclusion I feel filthy and it triggers,a breakdown .At the first stage of breakdown I would feel nice as I'm feeling something but then i relapse and THEN BOOOOM) Then I watched tyler but better (was so fun,he's also mentally ill) and then i talked to myself for more then one hour hour. Ate food ,again watched some stuff ,wrote things in my notepad(phone), then slept,woke up at eight in night ,talked with my mom ,watched some video essays of body horror, watched a video of i have no mouth and I must scream. Goofed around for sometime,then my mom came up to me and told me that my grandma 2 just called her and sang her a song AND I WAS HAVING CUTENESS AGGRESSION.Later I tried watching smt about goodnight punpun , dropped it halfway , listened to let go by radio head ,watched someone dance ,ate a chocolate and was happy (i figured why I am the way I am ,and I had things to do Tommorow that I would genuinely LOVE and I was free to do whatever I want for two months) and for a while I was watching dan and phil ALSO I FINISHED A NEW FIC TOO. (ALL LIFE IS YOURS TO LOSE -LOVED IT) Before i knew it it was one am and mom asked me to sleep ,I took a bath and slept joyfully.

I WAS HAPPY,JUST BY BEING IN MY SOLITUDE,AND THE UNIVERSE DIDN'T FUCK WITH ME FOR A DAY .THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN THAT DAY LIKE I TALKED ABOUT MY WHOLE LIFE TO THE WALL BY CURSING (THE EVOLUTION OF MY FEELINGS,MEDIA CONSUMPTION, EVERYTHING) I WAS ALSO EXCITED BECAUSE TOMMOROW I WAS GONNA READ LITTLE LIFE. (YEP IM READY TO CRY) LETS GO MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!