i hate eat lel

i really dont know wtf is actually happened to myself, but recently i stop eating.

i now hate the feeling of eat the feelin of being full, idk why.

tbh i still like the weird shit thet the food do to my brain, like that satisfaction lol. But not like eating, just the weird feeling that eat do to the brain.

i know i should eat more, but i genuenly cant.

i also know that is unhealthy but i dont really care that much for my health or well-being :b

this is only an vent, cus all my friends n my partners r going through difficult times, so i dont want to bother them whit my fucking ass problems.

but i still want to tell this to someone, idc if they care or not.

i just want someone to hear me, n dont bother them whit my fucking problems, i feel like shit.

i want someone that can hear my problems n still dont care that much to actually worry a lot.

im gonna cry, i reall feel like shit.

i think i need more help than just antidepressants (cus my psychiatrist told me to take them lol).

they dont actually help me alot, i still think of kms or sh.

its a shit i hate this feeling, n i cnt tell this to fucking anyone i dont want to my partners n friends worry about me, it makes me feel like i metter n that makes me feel sick.

i hate everything i hate my family my classmates the school, i just want my goddamn phone all damn day i cant whit this anymore.

but i still dont want to die, its so scary the only thought of dying, or even sharp things.

sorry if im getting annoying, i really needed to do this like really.

i feel like im going insane.

i hate this feeling i cant whit this shit anymore im gonna fucking die.

i hate this i hate this.

i feel miserable, i feel like im in another life n body, like as if I was supposed to die a long time ago.

like being torture by the universe is the only meaning of my damn life.

i damn well know that im not brave enough to actually kms, n that makes me feel like if my pain is not worth enough.

i hate everything, im crying right now.

im miserable n pathetic n i know, i hate knowing it i hate having memory, i wish someday someone lobotomize me, so i can forget everything.

i wish to some day forget everything, n be happy.

sorry if this is kinda edgy, i better stfu sorry.

bai guys lov yall ;]

thanks for reading, if someones actually read this fucking vent.