whatever dude

It's my birthday, and all I can think about is my stupid ex. I dread tomorrow because that's literally our anniversary, which I highly doubt he remembers anyway. It doesn't help that ever since some Beta club ceremony that I was in, he's been staring me down. I want to text him so badly because I still have his number saved, but I'm terrified of him making fun of me to his friends or like being rude about me texting him after going no contact for NINE MONTHS. I miss him so much, I wish we could try again. Please help me I don't know what to do.

Edit: I don't like him anymore it's ok