I had a dream 2

I had a dream, this time I was with some highschoolers I knew well.

Two girls, or three, and one boy. It seemed like we had spawned in a huge mall with lots of aisles, stores and even a hotel or something like that. The lights were pink and yellow, and the floor so clean I can remember the sparkles it emitted when I wasn't looking down at my feet. The boy, Raph, caught my hand and he said "Let's go and sign up !". Down the escalator were lined up three front desks, each behind which some staff was waiting. The lady greeted us with a big smile, and said 'Do you have a Ukranian passport ?' to which my classmate replied yes ! He was not Ukranian at all but dream logic made it so that I beamed at him when he showed her the passport we needed to enjoy the mall. 

You know, there had never been anything going on between us. We were lab partners in biology, and sat next to each other for a few months in physics and chemistry. Him and I were in the international section making us a part of the 'elite' students, to take some of my other acquaintances' words. I was always working harder than I needed to, to fill the feeling of inferiority that submerges you once you become a good student in a class of equally competent people. But he..wasn't like that. I mean yes he worked hard, but he liked to skip school sometimes. He worried about the future yet seemed to have both his feet in the present : he was such a grounding and calming presence for me. Always comforting me when I'd complain about how much I wanted to succeed, noticing when I became cold as a rock and going easy on my nerves.

I had never felt so seen by a guy before, not even by my father or brother ; he was the first guy who genuinely looked at me when we talked, and smiled, and laughed while his beautiful jet black hair followed in the motion. I remember I was always taken off guard when he spoke to me, cause he spoke gently and softly, and..well..not loud you know ? He took my side when a little disagreement happened in biology and at the same time, said nice things about my personality and my looks to add more weight to his argument. My heart fluttered that day. So that's what it was like to exist, even a little bit, in a man's life. 

Once we were walking in the aisles, it seemed like we had completely forgotten about the three other girls. He was holding my hand and running in the mall, while I gasped and squealed at every cute thing I saw there. It felt like in the movies, when the two lovers run in a field. It felt like my deepest wish : to have fun with someone whose soul I got to hold. So that's what we did there. How beautiful he looked, how happy I felt, and how fast we were running ! When I woke up, the warmth of his hand around my wrist, as it slid down to my palm left a tingling sensation there. I woke up. He wasn't in my life anymore, we had drifted apart somehow, right before graduating. So I let him go, and enjoyed the memories of him until my heart beat slower, steadier...probably healthier.