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I feel so ashamed watching my friends come to me for help, I hate when they text me sometimes and I can’t help but feel sorry for myself. I hate relapsing, I hate self harming and drinking whenever I feel like shit. I genuinely feel so shitty it kills me. I don’t deserve to have friends, I hate how awful people make me feel when I open up about it. I hate how I can think better when I’m not sober, I hate how I can’t make my words up properly until then. I wish I was better, I wish I was worth it. I don’t like being afraid of the people around me, I don’t like feeling like I can’t speak. I hate being incapable of being the person people need me to be, and yet when I am I’m not worth their time anymore. I wish I was dead. I wish I’d had gotten the balls to do it that night, I would’ve been better off that way. I’m sure a lot of people want me dead too.-
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akjspaceboy
the male part of me wants to just tell you everthing is gonna be okay, but what you need to hear is that you need to find yourself, or find something to have passion for. how could you say youre done with life if youve not seen the easiest enjoyable parts of it. find something to love, not a person, people come and go. passions do not. having a passion creates a drive in you to enjoy whatever it is youre passionate about. go find a hobby. maybe you have one. do you love it? if you dont, m=you should find one that you do.
you need to stop thinking too much and just look at what you do in the depth of if it is enjoyable to you. if you arent good being alone with yourself, its because you dont know how to do that yet. be comfortable being alone, find what makes you laugh, find what interests you and enjoy it. you can only live life once, and the whole time all we do is create memories we can look back on in the end. if you keep standing still, you wont have speciality to look at. start moving and never stop because if you never start moving forward, all you'll do is look back at what you cant change.
i love you internet stranger, and i hope you mak peace with your pain - spaceboy
Thank you space boy, you’re truly too sweet. I’ll remember this always, I appreciate it more than you know.
by Atlas/Opal⚰️🚬; ; Report
Apollo's child (Ace)
Hi! I just found this while looking at blogs. I know I can't say I'm sure a lot of people care about you when I don't know that. But what I do know, is that even though I haven't even met you or talked to you a single time, is that I care about and for you. No one deserves to feel this way and that includes you. You really just haven't found the right people yet. We can be friends if you want? (Only if you want to)
Thank you internet stranger, I’d love to be friends🦇
by Atlas/Opal⚰️🚬; ; Report