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I feel it, I need to do something. I don't care what it is. Life on earth makes me sick. I do not feel well. I want the burn in my chest to stop. Please make it stop. I don't deserve to be forced to live like this. Can't I be at peace for more than 2 days? I don't want to hurt myself but I need to. I need to free myself from what's going on inside. I can't bare it anymore. I want to live. I want to live, not survive.
i want to hurt myself
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Star ⟭ ₊˚⊹𖤍
mood tbh.
but real shit: this world is ass, but there will Always be something you can live for. if it’s friends, it’s friends. if it’s a game, it’s a game. a passion? music releases? seeking out places where you feel safe is the best thing you can do for yourself. iirc like… most of the time someone wants to no longer exist, it’s actually just wanting your situation to change dramatically. and your situation WILL change. im in my early/mid 20’s and my life is unrecognizable to the life i had when i was 18-19. find places to feel safe, and let yourself and the things around you change. if you’re in a bad situation with ur family / ppl u live w / partner, get OUT!!! they aren’t worth your suffering.
i would advise not hurting yourself on principle, but s/h is an addiction, and that stuff is hard to get out of ESPECIALLY when everything feels as hard as it does. if some s/h is the only thing getting you through the week, focus on harm reduction. try squeezing ice really hard in your fist, or only s/h in safe locations. sanitize everything and give yourself aftercare (bandages, proper cleanup, a nice comfort snack, good music/show/video, and time to decompress) make it a self ritual rather than a punishment, because you do not need to be punishing yourself, even if you have done something wrong. it’s not your place.
stay safe, healing isnt linear and relapse is part of recovery. also my bad for rambling, just sharing tidbits that have helped me in my journey or whatever