i really thought this time would be different

i really fucking thought. just because someone actually put in the time to get to know me and ask me questions and reassured me that no, i wasn't bothering them and yes, they liked me. i put in so much effort to put myself out there. to open up more. i feel like i'm in 7th grade all over agian, just accepting the first person who's be semi-nice to me. i shouldn't have been so quick to trust. i didn't even trust, i just was starting to let a guard down. and who's the fool for it again?  but why should i care? it's not like we were ever together. it's not like i was cheated on. but if this was you tellingme you're not interested anymore, it was a fucking shitty way to do it. so yeah i guess im writing this instead of sending it direcly to them. fuck you. i hate you for making me think someone could acutally be capable of being interested in me, but even more so i haet myself for believeing it.

i hope you're happy about the way this ended. because i am. i couldn't be ahppier i didn't waste more of my time and reality hit me in the face hard enough that i can get my shit together. this was just another much need reminder.

i wouldve been okay to just be friends. fuck you. fuck this. fuck me. so yeah. i seriously need to sleep now because im actually tired enough to for once.