when am i done being a tourist?

it's been almost a year since i moved from the mid-sized city i spent most of my life in to the biggest city in my state. the neighborhood i live in has apparently been slowly gentrified by tech-bros moving into the new fancy and expensive apartments they keep building. it's kind of funny seeing these beautiful historical antique apartment buildings (some are important enough to have their own wikipedia pages) next to these cookie cutter tech mid-sized high rises that no one but Microsoft employees can afford.

i recently saw a video from a black creator about a specific white trans woman on twitter who essentially was saying "gentrification is not as bad as you people say!!" and without getting to deep into the actual discourse, his point was essentially that people who actually give back and support their communities are not labeled as gentrifiers. so trying to pinkwash "transplants" and "gentrification" was really icky. and i'm willing to bet a lot of white queer people had a kneejerk reaction to this video. but, like, i think it was more of a relief to me than anything. because one of my biggest fears is becoming everything i hate, and in this case: a gentrifier.

i have a library card. i check out books. i go to local shows. i buy food from the mediterranean food truck near my house when i have the money. i have a job in the city. i vote. 

i used to ask myself when i'd stop feeling like a tourist. and i the answer was when i stopped acting like one.