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I haven't posted on here for a while due to college and therapy recently, sorry about that.
But, I've been in a rut; I talked to my mom about supposedly taking a semester hiatus for my junior year of college, and she clearly was against the choice, worrying about me dropping out and not keeping up the family's good name.
It really made me sat here and think; Will me finishing my bachelor and associates program even amount to anything? I can barely get a job, resumes and cover letters mean squat being a minority (I'm black, AFAB, and Queer) And I just don't understand why I must keep up an image for my family members who barely cares about my feelings at the end of it all.
I've been attending therapy for a few weeks now, and I explained to my therapist where for so long, I couldn't find my own worth due to me being such a welcome mat to others. It was demotivating and a hard pill to swallow.
Working on my resume project for my core English class just made me sit there and look at the ghost town of three jobs and barely any career experience.
It feels like it'll never get past that point, but I know I've got to hold on. If you have your own worries and whatnot of your future, I'd like to speak to others who may be going through the same predicament. Thank you for reading 🧡 And remember you are enough.
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connopy
I also had these thoughts for my future especially since my bachelors is useless (requiring masters and a PhD to actually get a decent job) and the fact that I live in a 3rd world country doesn't really help with my situation.
Before as well, I've wanted to drop schools and move but I couldn't tell my parents due to their high expectations of me being their only flesh and blood. But then I realized, is it really worth it? Like trying to live up to their expectations, I mean in the future who knows if they even care for my achievements, I don't even know that much about my family so much for me to care so what do they think.
I think we just really seek love from those closest to us because they're your "family" and that's what we think we deserve, when in truth, we deserve a supportive people, those who stay by our sides and cheer us on through thick and thin.
Burnout really sucks and it makes you question everything in life, but it doesn't mean a life-or-death situation (I hope you keep that in mind). If you can control it then it's no problem, and if you can't then don't bother worrying about it!
I hope you can find the strength within you to accept and forgive yourself if these thoughts persist! May your therapy help bring you security in life. :)
This was deeply inspiring to see, and words can't express how much it I'm grateful you commented!! I wish nothing but the best for you, also! Thank you very very much
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