Rant

"When you aren't suicidal, people stop telling you to live"

Im happy, no doubt. But sometimes I wish I wasn't, sometimes I wish I had more people telling me to live everyday and telling me how much I mean to them. And anyone who comments on this will probably say "I care about you" and shit but its not the same, yk? Like when your depressed people wish you were better and check in on you more. I think the majority reason as to why there's such a big upraise in depression is (Including that its more talked about now) because people don't check in the happy people. When your sad you have friends who listen to you when you vent and don't get bored when you say something about yourself. You should check in on your happy friends wether they are hiding their sadness or not. PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS HAVE BAD DAYS, HAPPY OR NOT. I try my best to check in on everybody (asking how they are doing, About their day etc) but it just leaves me alone. Id rather be kind when people are around of course, but I wish people could see how much I care. Maybe then they'd do the same, they'd stop making fun of me when I talk about my hyper fixations or stop making autistic/**t*rd jokes whenever I open my mouth. I lowkey wanna become a basic white man but I cant dress that way becuase I'm a girl rn and would look like shit.

I think that mental health matters, even when you are happy. Tell your friends they matter, tell your friends they matter and to never give up.

If someone tells you they don't want you to try and fix them and that they are fine, then that's their choice. PLEASE respect it. 

If they are happy, that doesn't mean they don't cry every now and then and a relapse doesn't always mean they wont be clean for a year. Having a drink doesn't always mean they wont be sober for a year. 

I've always struggled with the last paragraph, Just because I relapsed doesn't mean that I want to die or that I'm gonna start isolating and over eating again. 

"Being happy comes with the cost of knowing what it's like to be not"

- Travis,