What if...

What if i was drowning would you jump in to save me? would you risk your life for mine? 

would you lay me down slowly crying and begging me to come back? sometimes i wonder if i'm good enough for the universe... good enough for the people i love do they want me or do they want me to sweep up the dirt they left behind.

I sit here and i think... why in my mind i don't see them jumping in and saving me, i ask myself what have i done to feel so empty. i feel like i am drowning... but alone. i'm alone no one there to save me. my head hits the surface and i see people… but they aren't looking my direction. my head goes below the surface. my body wants to give up fighting but something in me keeps fighting… My heart aches in pain. 

Why isn’t anyone saving me…I keep fighting for my life but the water keeps getting heavier and heavier i don’t know how much longer I can fight. my arms are getting tired and so is my legs… I just want someone to pull me up, I want someone to be afraid of loosing me. I keep making up these scenarios in my mind as I’m drowning, of you pulling me up to the surface and you’re so afraid you’re pumping my chest and breathing in my mouth, begging me to come back… But I’m drowning.