Its officially been a month.

So, it's been a whole month since this all started. Since that bastard made his move against me, since they cut me out of their lives, and since I made this account. 

I want to say that I've gotten better after a whole month, that I got over the past and all my sorrows, but that would be a lie. I still think about everything, even when I'm trying not to, my friends are always in the back of my mind, and if I think of them for even a second too long t's enough to kill any happy mood I had for the rest of the day.

But I guess I'd also be a lie to say that this month was only filled with depression, I've had quite a few happy times, they don't outweigh all the bad things but I'm still glad they happened. My birthday was alright, I ate a lot and that always cheers me up, I've been having fun yapping with my remaining friends about the game I like, my best friend and I are getting ready to join a new D&D campaign any time now, I made us cute candy friendship bracelets yesterday, and just a couple hours ago I was catching up with another old friend who I don't talk to often and having a blast playing games together.

It's kinda hard to understand what I'm feeling, it's like my heart is a weird book that's barely legible, the pages are ripped and stained, I'm still desperate and sad, but I also feel weirdly happy right now? I don't know how to explain or if that's a good metaphor at all lmao.

I think I'll just have to see where things go from here. I have no idea how to end this post so I'll give a little life update I guess? My dad updated my computer to windows 11 (without permission) probably cause he wanted to mess with stupid AI, but that means I get to reinstall the Sims 4 so I'm gonna see if I can convince him to teach me to pirate the dlcs, I used to have them all back in 2023 but they just randomly stopped working one day, I didn't want to bother him about it (specially cause we were kinda on bad terms that specific day) so I went without them until now. If this shit happens again I want to know how to fix it by myself so I don't need to keep asking him, if it actually works it's gonna be so awesome to revisit my old save files that I "lost", honestly that might cheer me up A LOT so I really hope it works out, if it does I'll add a little PS on my next post about it. Also I'm planning on cosplaying my current favorite character soon, he has a very easy look to recreate and I literally happened to have the exact same sweater and jacket so that's super epic.

A slightly happier note than literally any of my other posts so that's cool, idk if anybody actually bothered to follow up on the whole thing, probably not and I probably just sound crazy right now, if anyone actually did I appreciate it, even if it doesn't change my situation at all, thanks for checking up on me, I'm sorry you had to read all these depressing deranged ramblings, I hope you're doing better than me, and if you're not, I hope you can pull through better than me. I think that's all I wanted to say for now, have a great rest of your day <3