weekly reflection #3

hello again invisible audience

im not sure why i still post these

i guess its a good outlet for my thoughts

anyways, on with it

everyday its just getting harder and harder to continue to try to change

i know i need to preserve but i've already been doing that for so long

every time i've tried to better myself it just falls apart, and i fear it might happen again

i feel lonely, so damn lonely

i try my best to make friends but to no avail

nothing works, nothings new

i miss and so crave that feeling of being wanted

i crave attention

not for the pure gratification anymore, just to be seen

 i find myself missing my old friend group

it was horrible company, but it beats being alone

i dont know what im going to do

im going to a new school too

a fresh start?

i've never been one to believe in fresh starts, but i'm trying to look on the bright side

maybe i'll meet some people who i dont find weird or annoying!!

probably not..

i already find the people at my new school annoying

am i hopeless

i don't even want a girlfriend or boyfriend

i dont care

i just want a friend

i need to be needed again

oh to be needed

is it really so selfish of me to want someone to be obsessed with me?

perhaps it is

i dont know

well, thats it for this one

farewell whoever is reading this, i hope you have a better day than me