Remember:

This is the life you wished for.
Scenarios that swirl in your head,
moments you wished were real...
On an aimless walk after school.

You wanted solitude.
You fantasize to only being seen, observed.
Not interacted to or talked to...
Sick thoughts you entertained in moments of silence.

To walk alone... to not be addressed...
Not wanting to be... disturbed.
To be at the background.
To be the girl in the back of the class who was quiet.

To be reserved, the exact opposite of the real you.
To not ever go on a yapping session.
To stop talking. To be completely be by yourself.
To live the life of the person you once always gravitate to...

The quiet reserved, seemingly kind person you once loved in someone.

maybe then you'd love yourself if you become the person you tend to always want.