I feel so weirdly connected to dogs

I've grown up by dogs my entire life. My first dog was an old weiner dog named Mini, she was a grumpy old girl and but me and growled at me, but 4 year old me still loved and cuddled her. After she had died I felt as if she was still there, like her spirit had clung to mine and dug its claws into me. I used to frequently visit her grave in my grandma's backyard, right next to Jethro, an old bloodhound that my dad had as a kid. I felt like I knew him in a way. I had always asked my dad to tell me stories about him and I'd wander the field he used to play in, sometimes lay in his doghouse that was now worn with the weather. We then got another dog, Buster. I still remember that day we went to the pound. I was very interested in dog breeds at the moment and huskies were my favorite. I remembered looking on their website and seeing they had a husky. Once we got to the pound though I saw another dog. A dog with Rottweiler coloring and a kinder face. Buster, the boxer, Rottweiler mix with a hint of great Dane. He was basically on death row, I remember being told he would have been put down at the end of the month if we didn't get him. I remember crying that night after hearing that. Once I saw Buster I felt an instant connection. He was jumping like a kangaroo and whining excitedly, I put my hand up to the cage, not knowing if he was friendly or not, and as soon as I did he licked my hand like his life depended on it. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him, so I begged my dad to get him. It's been about 8 years since then, he's now about 10, he's still alive, but his face is more grey and he can't jump as high. He has lumps beneath his skin that makes me feel a sense of dread. A few years after getting him I moved to Colorado, leaving my life behind there, only to return again in four years, four years I'd never forget. We watched each other grow. He slept in my bed every night and his fur dried my tears when no one else would. A few years since we moved there and settled in we decided to get a small puppy named Bizkit (we named him, it's like limp Bizkit. His first name was Kodiak). Bizkit was a small puppy who was found with his brother abandoned in a field on a Navajo farm, most likely the offspring of some farm dogs. He was the more skittish of the two. He was 5 pounds when we got him, he's now 75 pounds but he has that same puppy face he's always had, even years later. I've been told that Buster resembles me, and Bizkit resembles my sister, which I can't agree more with. Bizkit, being the puppy he is, likes to annoy buster but at the end of the day they lay on the couch together and love each other. Chasing each other around the house like me and my little sister playing tag. Not only have I grown up around dogs, but I've always had an interest in them. I have a book from the 2000s (90s?? Idk, I need to check the date) called the encyclopedia of the dog. I remember in 2nd, maybe 3rd grade I read everything in the book. About the breeds, about behaviors, about training. After that I wanted to be a dog trainer, I had a short lived dog walking business. I've also read many books about dogs and wolves, along with movies. My favorite was this one I can't remember the name of, I read it on a 6 hours long car ride. It was about this boy and his wolf dog, the dog had gotten lost from him and eventually found his way back, making friends, losing friends, experiencing loss and pain and joy and love. I felt very connected to this dog, I hope one day I'll get back to my owner. I also remember my favorite movies being balto and white fang, balto was my favorite. For awhile I wanted to be a dog sled racer, I played a game called red lantern after I watched Stacy plays play it. I still have the game. I read books about dogs sledding and watched videos and learned whatever I could about them. I used to draw only dogs and horses. Sometimes I'll find myself acting like a dog too, laying in bed whining, just longing for any kind of affection. I want to be pet. I'm loyal until someone abandons me like a shelter dog, going from shelter to shelter, right after thinking I had found my home. I long to lay at someones feet or in their lap. I want to snuggle up against someone and sniff them greedily. Sometimes it feels like I'm begging for scraps from life itself. It's a complicated feeling, one I've dealt with my entire life, and one that's a part of me. Sometimes I like to think I was a dog in a past life or will become one once I die. One thing is for sure, if I was a dog I would not be a pure breed, I'd be a mutt, just like the dogs I've grown up with.