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I recently asked my dad what he would think if I married outside of the religion and culture, I mean we aren't that religious but still. His point was that he wouldn't be overjoyed because he feels like there needs to be a deeper understanding between two people that comes from cultural background. My mother said if I marry out of the religion she'd rather be dead.
It has me thinking about the level of agency I have over my own life. I mean I love my parents, but I feel like the way we love eachother is different so it feels uncertain at times. Sometimes I imagine what if I do marry a man thats from a completely different background, God forbid I actually find the backbone to pursue a woman and love her openly. I mean then what, is it inevitable that the whole family imploded on itself? Should I be one of those people that says fuck it and ignores my parents and just go with it? But i know itll break me to pull away like that.
Its not like my parents have a perfect marriage, so it feels dumb listening to their rules on it, but I also do get my dad's point about culture and stuff. I mean maybe when youre young its fine but as you get older certain things become a bit messy, like if I have kid or something. Love really isnt enough at all, theres so much more to consider and that makes me sad.
I dont know im not even dating anyone right now but I just feel so odd thinking about it. One day itll be a part of my life.
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drzks124
religion/belifes compatibility definitely arent everything. but it both partners are on the same page when it comes to that, is one less problem to work on. thats how i see it at least
I understand that part, and I agree. But like, you can know someone super well and suddenly as you get older together you realize they have certain opinions or morals that are created form their cultural backgorund. I mean I dont wanna have kids and suddenly my partner is like, hey now that im older and getting closer to the grave do you think our kids could get baptized or smth like that. I mean I know it's not bound to happen but I would rather avoid such things yknow. I've just been feeling odd about it
by BASILmoon; ; Report
hhmmm i think it know where youre coming from. most people will inevitably change though, sometimes in radical ways & its really hard to know before hand when its gonna happen. don't believe, but having a relationship is like investing in a company. you may know all the background, how the business work. etc. but you cant control the market, (you cant expect to control them), you can influence (?) maybe
but ultimately it feels like a safer "bet"
by drzks124; ; Report
Yes this is the perfect analogy thanks for putting it into words
by BASILmoon; ; Report