It feels strange

It is now my first day in my new flat. And I do not know what to feel for the life of me. My feelings are a weird amalgamation of excitement and sadness. I am really glad that I am now able to be away from home. Now I am finally free, or more so at least. The last few months at home have been more and more complicated for me. It is hard dealing with my mentally ill sister, my older getting grandpa and my own mental wellness at the same time. So, all things considered, I should feel at ease being here. Still, I miss home, my mom, my room, and so many people.

When I stepped into my car today, driving away from everyone I loved, I cried a bit. Well, a bit... probably for the first twenty minutes of the drive hahaha. I really needed to listen to my hypemen BooSeokSoon to get myself to stop crying. 

Today was also the first time that I needed to actually go shopping by myself. There is nothing here. No endless stock of pasta or ingredients that my mom won't miss. I basically stood in the supermarket for an hour, wrecking my mind what to get for the first few days here. It was so overwhelming in a sense. Truly something that I never experienced before. And it feels really strange to admit. But going grocery shopping is truly harder than it seems. Which truly makes me sound like a child, hahahah. But I said what I said. Going shopping for the first time alone was a struggle. But I managed ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ. I am pretty satisfied. Not hungry. I have breakfast, and quite a lot at that, but not too much, of course, hahhaha. 

I will need to see how I manage tomorrow. I plan on going into the city, discovering the bus lanes and anything noteworthy here. Let's see how I will do tomorrow! Maybe I will get lost or kidnapped. Or everything goes fine. Who knows. 

Calling my mom today also went fine. She was, of course, genuinely really excited to hear about everything. The only thing that annoyed me a bit was how she talked about my roommate. She was pretty displeased that I was so alone today. The thing is, I get her, it was a bit alone today. But my roommate is writing her master and has her own hobbies and life. My roommate herself told me that everything will be much easier once she is done in a month. So I really don't look at it from this negative side. My mom is tough. And this will get annoying at some point, I can tell. My mom is a pretty headstrong woman, and she does not forget. Well, let's see how everything goes.