A dream so real it could've been

I kissed my friend, the one my partner introduced me to. We kissed after he abandoned us. He took refuge on a lonely iceberg far from the mainland where the war was taking place. None of these details matter, I just feel like it's getting to a point where I'm finding it harder and harder to hide my feelings that I have towards this friend. 

He knows of my feelings, to an extent. There was one night where they got drunk (I don't drink) and he wouldn't stop clinging to me, but at the same time it felt like he kept suggesting I be with them. He confessed and said he saw how I looked at them, and he thought I'd resent him for missing out on dating someone of the same sex. He figured if I were to leave him for anyone, he'd rather it be them.

This didn't happen, of course. I told him although I am very much attracted to the same sex, I am just as attracted to him, too. So the morning after we never brought it up. I told him what happened, but as far as I know, the friend doesn't remember anything. I hope it is that way, it doesn't feel like a good idea to complicate our trio friend group with all this love stuff. 

I admit, I would like to have my cake and eat it too. I would like to be with them but also just remain friends. I wish it didn't have to be so complicated. I wish I could snuff out my feelings.