random rant lol

As a kid never even realized I had a lisp. Until my friends started pointing it out making fun of me. And then I got braces so it was kind of an excuse to have it. I was still made fun of but some laughed it off saying not to worry cause it wasn't my fault. Once I got them off I some people would still think I had it because I still talked with a lisp. Like it never really bothered me until people kept pointing it out and making fun of me. Saying that I sound like I'm spitting everywhere. And actually I never really recognized it. I didn't even hear it. Maybe I just wasn't listening right cause I hear it sometimes now. But sometimes I don't until someone points it out again. When I do hear it it's bad. It bothers me. It makes me not want to talk yknow?  And like I don't know it's not that I try to speak with a lisp like when I catch myself slurring my words like that it actually pisses me off. I don't want to talk the way I do and I don't know how to fix it (｡•́︿•̀｡)