ughhhhhh

i lowk feel tired, it's probably cuz i have the worst sleep schedule everr but whatever. i just cant stop thinking about school, its super frustrating. i've been out of school for what a few months and now i don't wanna go back like AT ALL. i feel like i'm soo not me when i'm there!! i have to act so... normal and that pisses me off!! i hope that i can do what i have to and not completely embarrass myself. that's totally impossible but whatever. i hope i can still be consistent with my journal entries whilst going to school, but realistically speaking i won't even have the energy to keep my room clean... i guess i'll find something that works for me. either way, school's already started and i can't do anything abt not preparing enough, well whatever rite? i'm also a bit nervous abt the part time job thing... idrk if its considered that but yeah... i'll have to spend a lot of time there and i am NOT ready to be surrounded by a bunch of men. at least my team are all girls around my age. idk what i'm even blabbing abt but yeah i hope i can handle everything...