Old school, New school (Diary blog #5 - 10/9/2025)

So at end of August I got to transfer back to the school I finished primary school in, and honestly, the differences between my previous school and this one are MAJOR.

Well first of is that of course these halls and teachers are familiar, and Most of the teachers who knew me had coined me as a quiet kid even if in primary school I very well had non-stop been talking to my friend. That's interesting. In previous school I had been a complete stranger to both teachers and pupils so obviously it had brought me the most trouble trying to talk to somebody. I had grown incredibly jealous of the secondary schoolers that had friends and were always going places. In fact, I began to think this superstitious thought that none of them actually would've been ready to be friendly with me. In teams it was spite that fuelled us to work together. No one knew who I was. And then I myself in matter of four months grew to only like MY company, I started isolating myself whenever I could just so I could get moments of peace. I stopped going to lunch because being alone while people talk and talk all around is pretty much a carrot on a stick.

In this school, I managed to get this six person group of acquaintances, I just follow them around and they don't seem to mind me much so that's getting me somewhere. Yesterday I managed to compliment one of them for her MCR custom shoes, and talk even more to one of them when going home, and it was fun! I think it's considered normal to just follow around and laugh at jokes when just beginning to get adjusted.

However, in twist of fate I managed to have some language lessons going on with one individual who now I considered a nemesis for stealing my heart back in 9th grade. So it is my sworn duty to SHOW him that I am better than him at these subjects if not at being a person. He is but a brute without a thought in that head like any other man his age, while I am so much more. Believe me, I DREAD answering questions wrong even more when he's nearby. Oh, but when it'll come to public speaking... oh heheh... look out, honey. LOOK OUT. 

Overall, all this change hasn't gotten too much effect on my emotions, at least less than I would've expected to. My heart has been awfully empty ever since mid-August. Even old feelings towards my nemesis are nothing but just... old. Why am I writing about this lmfao. Anyway, consider this: if you plan to have a crush, uhh... don't go out of your way to learn if they're taken or not, and then flee the place. There's much more tender memories that way. Pray to whoever love gods you may for a cure for your sad little heart.

And learn well!