I'm not excited for adulthood

I say it as if I'm not legally an adult already. But seriously, I see the way it is for my mom and for all the adults in my life. It's as if kindness and care is cringe or something. When I feel like shit I'll have to just get dressed and go to work anyways. When eventually another one of those unforgettable and life-changing (in the worst way possible) moments happen again, nobody will hug me or kiss my face, not anymore. Instead, I'll just have encouraging words sent to me through text and that's all; I'll have to clench my teeth and bear it on my own, pushing my grown and disgusting body with all my might to make it move from my bed to the shower and from the shower to the kitchen and so on, so it doesn't die. I'm supposed to be excited about the imminent stage of my life where everything depends on me?, the least capable girl I know? I'll be dead within my first year of independence, I tell you. And no one will feel bad for me, they'll just think I'm embarrassing.

-Luli🐾