bein' an eldest dghter is hell on wheels !!

heyy ik none of y'all know me on here but dats alr cuz this just gonna be a public diary for me time to time 😝 but I gotta say wheres the respect for eldest daughters? Truly emotionally neglected, repressed, silenced into submission and forced to put ourselves last to cater to other people's expectations of us?? 

Like .. good golly I've been Christian for some years now but I couldn't have asked God to reveal deeprooted habits and trauma responses I cave into time and time again, so stuck in them to where I couldn't figure out why, at a better time. He loves me and us sm more than we could imagine, I'm steadily being reminded as to why we need to operate on His timing and not ours bcuz yallll being in my pressuring, chaotic crumbling household where my parents are no longer fit for each other, always criticizing one another and steadily helping out with my younger bro like I'm his teacher, mother, overseer, and counselor? A GIRLY REALIZES SHE'S TRULY BEEN THRU ITTT😞😞 

Can anyone else feel me cuz I'm ready 2 graduate so bad, fly out the states and wait on Mr. Right while I get that college bag before I start wishing for morning hea- uhh I mean😭 

Have a nice night y'all mwahh💋