feeling paranoid as shit!

i have no idea what to believe in

is it my mind? or is it reality?

so i used to like this girl waaaay back in ze day

i dont think we ended on good terms, i liked her, and she did not.

i knowingly humiliated myself by asking her twice (wow Dx)

and the same answer.

No. (obviously she said something to not make it hurt, props to her)

However!

Wednesday happened

I was casually watching the basketball game from the second floor.

i'm taking pictures and stuff, then my friend (who was playing) goes to talk to someone in the audience on the level below. 

then im just looking at him for no particular reason

but my mind tells me...

Hey luxu... look a little bit left.

it was her...

NO IDEA HOW LONG SHE WAS LOOKING AT ME

NO IDEA HOW WHY SHE WAS LOOKING AT ME

does not matter.

i think someone said something to her to look over there?

or maybe someone was there?

(while im writing this i remembered that, yes... i think some friends of her were on the same level as me... however. they were more to the left? i dont remember, im sleepy and just wanna wish this was all over)

im seriously wondering why the fuck im even caring at this moment.

she don't like me, i respect her decision. (you still begged)

but why the hell is she still looking at me

IM I BEING PARANOID ABOUT ABSOLUTLY NOTHING?

OR AM I BEING CAUTIOUS OF WHATS TO COME?

SHOULD I EVEN CARE? DO I EVEN STILL FEEL?

and a ton of other questions that dont matter here :)

it has already happened ton of times already at the start of the year

my friend who has a third eye or something, always told me that she was looking at me...

and still...

I genuinely don't get you i really dont.

THAT person

What song?

Paramar by Los Prisioneros

What is it about?

Love.

Am i fucked?

Yes.

Thanks school.

im sick and tired...

i cant find love

feeling paranoid as shit.

sick of the memories
(all my fault)

the seeds of my own demise have been harvested

if you're reading this

This never happened alright?

for sure.