Growing up is scary

I want to be an adult, but i dont want to stop being just a kid.

I always saw growing up as a form of freedom, cause when you're a kid you want to drive, work, get a house, eat what you want, do what you want whenever you please, but you can't, cause you're little, so you want to grow up fast.

But as you eventually actually grow up, and your age start getting serious, you cant do anything but just hope time would get slower. 

It's honestly so weird, how our minds develops.

We always want what we cant have, we always want to be someone we cant be.

And waiting seems like some sort of terrible punishment, waiting drives you crazy, until you realize that you were happy just as you were at the start, as free as you could possibly be.

But time doesn't go back. And its scary.

Cause i'll never be a kid dreaming about a big castle and a big sparkly dress ever again, i'll never be a teen staying up late reading and crying for some heartbreaking fanfiction about two men falling in love ever again, i'll never be a teen trying to figure out life and myself ever again.

It's scary and stupid.

But what we lived is still ours. That kid is still us, that teen is still us.

One night, in some years, we'll be thinking how much we wanna go back again, so live in the moment for your future self. 

Live the moment so you'll think how you want to go back because of how happy and thoughtless you were, not because you regret not doing things you wanted to.

Tomorrow I turn 16 and i'll never be 15 ever again, but its okay, cause thats just how it works.