First Post

         As I walk outside, I can feel the nice autumn breeze swirling through my hair and grazing across my face, the leaves crumbling underneath my feet. The world feels so cold, but yet so warm. I walk with my head down, in silence; listening to the leaves in the wind. Everything becomes blurry as I walk past familiar places, trees, then feeling like I am the only person left on this Earth. The day gets colder and colder, I keep walking until I reach the place that used to make me happy. Although I don’t really know why. I haven’t had much of an appetite for anything, and the shop just isn’t what it used to be. Maybe I’m going because most of my life was a routine. Get up, go to school, go home and stay in my room. At least until I found this place. After I did, I would try to be here as much as possible. Maybe not because I liked it so much, but because I disliked everywhere else. I just can’t help but think of the cool air as I would sit next to the window with my sweater and drink to keep me warm. I tug at my knitted sweater, feeling the soft wool come closer to my skin, and I can almost feel the warmth from my memory of the coffee shop.

Suddenly I feel something wet hit my nose, I look up at the sky to see the rain come down, I stop for just a moment and take in the weather. I continue to walk to this place, feeling lost and alone. 

Wondering where I went wrong.

Suddenly I feel myself crash into something hard. I look up to meet these ember eyes I never thought I would look into again. So many feelings rushed back into me as I looked deep into these eyes, feeling of sadness, betrayal, almost remembering happiness; so many feelings mixed together. I could not speak, but also could not look away. Instead I kept walking, hearing the footsteps behind me, the person calling out my name in the cold, crisp air. I stopped in my tracks as I listened to the wind, desperately hoping that it would drown out the voice coming from the amber eyed person behind me. Words coming into the atmosphere, burning the back of my neck, I cannot bring myself to turn around and face the person, feeling rain roll down my cheeks. The person asked if I would join them to the place, just like old times. Without saying a word or nodding my head, I continued to walk, and they followed. Hearing their footsteps behind, crumbling the leaves with every step of the way. We finally arrived at this place, the place full of memories and laughter I would never want to forget. Finally, I turned around, meet their gaze, and started to feel more streams of tears come down my face. Making it hard for me to feel happy but feel pain. Wondering why they chose to follow me, why they wanted to meet here. Was it to see if I am happy? If I am doing better? Or, to simply say hi? But why now, after all this time. 

            I can’t stop the rain from biting my skin every year. This year was worse than all the others; I didn’t know I could feel this cold. But, today slightly warmed up. Even though I had never been through such a tough environment, it was only a matter of time before Spring would come back around.